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Essay X: Of Love
Essay X: Of Love
The stage is more beholding to love, than the life of man. For as to the
stage, love is ever matter of comedies, and now and then of tragedies; but in
life it doth much mischief; sometimes like a siren, sometimes like a fury. You
may observe that amongst all the great and worthy persons (whereof the memory
remaineth, either ancient or recent) there is not one that hath been
transported to the mad degree of love: which shows that great spirits and
great business do keep out this weak passion. You must except nevertheless
Marcus Antonius, the half partner of the empire of Rome, and Appius Claudius,
the decemvir and lawgiver; whereof the former was indeed a voluptuous man, and
inordinate; but the latter was an austere and wise man: and therefore it seems
(though rarely) that love can find entrance not only into an open heart, but
also into a heart well fortified, if watch be not well kept. It is a poor
saying of Epicurus, Satis magnum alter alteri theatrum sumus [Each is to
another a theatre large enough]; as if man, made for the contemplation of
heaven and all noble objects, should do nothing but kneel before a little
idol, and make himself a subject, though not of the mouth (as beasts aree, yet
of the eye; which was given him for higher purposes. It is a strange thing to
note the excess of this passion, and how it braves the nature and value of
things, by this; that the speaking in a perpetual hyperbole is comely in
nothing but in love. Neither is it merely in the phrase; for whereas it hath
been well said that the arch-flatterer, with whom all the petty flatterers
have intelligence, is a man`s self; certainly the lover is more. For there was
never proud man thought so absurdly well of himself as the lover doth of the
person loved; and therefore it was well said, That it is impossible to love
and to be wise. Neither doth this weakness appear to others only, and not to
the party loved; but to the loved most of all, except the love be
reciproque. ^1 For it is a true rule, that love is ever rewarded either with
the reciproque or with an inward and secret contempt. By how much the more men
ought to beware of this passion, which loseth not only other things, but
itself! As for the other losses, the poet`s relation doth well figure them:
that he that preferred Helena quitted the gifts of Juno and Pallas. For
whosoever esteemeth too much of amorous affection quitteth both riches and
wisdom. This passion hath his floods in very times of weakness; which are
great prosperity and great adversity; though this latter hath been less
observed: both which times kindle love, and make it more fervent, and
therefore show it to be the child of folly. They do best, who if they cannot
but admit love, yet make it keep quarter ^2; and sever it wholly from their
serious affairs and actions of life; for if it check ^3 once with business, it
troubleth men`s fortunes, and maketh men that they can no ways e true to
their own ends. I know not how, but martial men are given to love: I think it
is but as they are given to wine; for perils commonly ask to be paid in
pleasures. There is in man`s nature a secret inclination and motion towards
love of others, which if it be not spent upon some one or a few, doth
naturally spread itself towards many, and maketh men become humane and
charitable; as it is seen sometime in friars. Nuptial love maketh mankind;
friendly love perfecteth it; but wanton love corrupteth and embaseth it.
[Footnote 1: Mutual.]
[Footnote 2: Its own place.]
[Footnote 3: Interfere.]
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