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Essay XXXII: Of Discourse
Essay XXXII: Of Discourse
Some in their discourse desire rather commendation of wit, in being able
to hold all arguments, than of judgment, in discerning what is true; as if it
were a praise to know what might be said, and not what should be thought. Some
have certain common places and themes wherein they are good, and want variety;
which kind of poverty is for the most part tedious, and when it is once
perceived, ridiculous. The honorablest part of talk is to give the occasion;
and again to moderate ^1 and pass to somewhat else; for then a man leads the
dance. It is good, in discourse and speech of conversation, to vary and
intermingle speech of the present occasion with arguments, tales with reasons,
asking of questions with telling of opinions, and jest with earnest: for it is
a dull thing to tire, and, as we say now, to jade, ^2 any thing too far. As
for jest, there be certain things which ought to be privileged from it;
namely, religion, matters of state, great persons, any man`s present business
of importance, and any case that deserveth pity. Yet there be some that think
their wits have been asleep, except they dart out somewhat that is piquant,
and to the quick. That is a vein which would be bridled:
[Footnote 1: Guide the discussion.]
[Footnote 2: Tire with overdriving.]
Parce, puer, stimulis, et fortius utere loris.
[Spare, boy, the whip and tighter hold the reins.] And generally, men
ought to find the difference between saltness and bitterness. Certainly, he
that hath a satirical vein, as he maketh others afraid of his wit, so he had
need be afraid of others` memory. He that questioneth much shall learn much,
and content much; but especially if he apply his questions to the skill of
the persons whom he asketh; for he shall give them occasion to please
themselves in speaking, and himself shall continually gather knowledge. But
let his questions not be troublesome; for that is fit for a poser. ^3 And let
him be sure to leave other men their turns to speak. Nay, if there be any
that would reign and take up all the time, let him find means to take them
off, and to bring others on; as musicians use to do with those that dance too
long galliards. If you dissemble sometimes your knowledge of that you are
thought to know, you shall be thought another time to know that you know not.
Speech of a man`s self ought to be seldom, and well chosen. I knew one was
wont to say in scorn, He must needs be a wise man, he speaks so much of
himself: and there is but one case wherein a man may commend himself with
good grace; and that is in commending virtue in another; especially if it be
such a virtue whereunto himself pretendeth. Speech of touch ^4 towards others
should be sparingly used; for discourse ought to be as a field, without
coming home to any man. I knew two noblemen, of the west part of England,
whereof the one was giAen to scoff, but kept ever royal cheer in his house;
the other would ask of those that had been at the other`s table, Tell truly
was there never a flout or dry blow ^5 given? To which the guest would answer,
Such and such a thing passed. The lord would say, I thought he would mar a
good dinner. Discretion of speech is more than eloquence; and to speak
agreeably to him with whom we deal, is more than to speak in good words or in
good order. A good continued speech, without a good speech of interlocution,
shows slowness: and a good reply or second speech, without a good settled
speech, showeth shallowness and weakness. As we see in beasts, that those
that are weakest in the course are yet nimblest in the turn; as it is betwixt
the greyhound and the hare. To use too many circumstances ere one come to the
matter, is wearisome; to use none at all, is blunt.
[Footnote 3: Examiner.]
[Footnote 4: Personal, touching a sore spot.]
[Footnote 5: Scornful jest.]
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