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Essay LII: Of Ceremonies And Respects
Essay LII: Of Ceremonies And Respects
He that is only real had need have exceeding great parts of virtue; as
the stone had need to be rich that is set without foil. ^1 But if a man mark
it well, it is in praise and commendation of men as it is in gettings and
gains: for the proverb is true, That light gains make heavy purses; for light
gains come thick, whereas great come but now and then. So it is true that
small matters win great commendation, because they are continually in use and
in note: whereas the occasion of any great virtue cometh but on festivals.
Therefore it doth much add to a man`s reputation, and is (as Queen Isabella
said) like perpetual letters commendatory, to have good forms. To attain them
it almost sufficeth not to despise them; for so shall a man observe them in
others; and let him trust himself with the rest. For if he labor too much to
express them, he shall lose their grace; which is to be natural and
unaffected. Some men`s behavior is like a verse, wherein every syllable is
measured; how can a man comprehend great matters, that breaketh his mind too
much to small observations? Not to use ceremonies at all is to teach others
not to use them again; and so diminisheth respect to himself; especially they
be not to be omitted to strangers and formal natures; but the dwelling upon
them, and exalting them above the moon, is not only tedious but doth diminish
te faith and credit of him that speaks. And certainly there is a kind of
conveying of effectual and imprinting ^2 passages amongst compliments, which
is of singular use, if a man can hit upon it. Amongst a man`s peers a man
shall be sure of familiarity; and therefore it is good a little to keep
state. Amongst a man`s inferiors one shall be sure of reverence; and
therefore it is good a little to be familiar. He that is too much in
anything, so that he giveth another occasion of satiety, maketh himself
cheap. To apply one`s self to others is good; so it be with demonstration
that a man doth it upon regard, and not upon facility. It is a good precept
generally in seconding another, yet to add somewhat of one`s own: as if you
will grant his opinion, let it be with some distinction; if you will follow
his motion, let it be with condition; if you allow his counsel, let it be
with alleging further reason. Men had need beware how they be too perfect in
compliments; for be they never so sufficient otherwise, their enviers will be
sure to give them that attribute, to the disadvantage of their greater
virtues. It is loss also in business to be too full of respects, or to be
curious in observing times and opportunities. Solomon saith, He that
considereth the wind shall not sow, and he that looketh to the clouds shall
not reap. A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. Men`s
behavior should be like their apparel, not too strait or point device, ^3 but
free for exercise or motion.
[Footnote 1: Gold or silver leaf behind a precious stone to add luster.]
[Footnote 2: Impressive.]
[Footnote 3: Excessively precise.]
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